Appreciation vs. Desire

It’s funny isn’t it? It is so easy to get sucked into the cycle of wants and desires, which really are ultimately developed from some initial appreciation. It’s interesting also, how large of an effect our wants and desires have upon our lives, subconsciously and consciously. I’ll use cars as an example, we see – or rather, I see (I don’t want to speak for everyone when I say this ). So I see a nice car parked at a stoplight and I almost always do one of two things; I’ll think ‘wow, I really want that car’ or, I’ll think about how ‘cool’ it must feel to drive that thing around all the time.

Although this may seem small or insignificant to most, I think just a small change in the lens through which we look at and perceive things can make a huge impacts on our outlook on life. I believe that if we are able to see things with a sense of appreciation rather than desire, that outlook will eventually begin to be adopted in many other aspects of our lives. Rather than looking for that next thing that will make us ‘happy’, we can then begin looking at what we have with appreciation rather than comparing it to new things, and in turn looking at it with a sense of inferiority or dissatisfaction because we convinced ourselves that we ‘need’ it. Although many of us convince ourselves that we will be happier or that we need that new car, house, or thing, the reality of the matter is that new and exciting feel you get after buying something will soon wear off and it will go back to being just like the thing you had before. I definitely learned this, in a roundabout way, in the past few weeks after selling my car, and downgrading to something that was paid off and cheaper to insure. At first, I missed the amenities of my previous car, but as I got more used to my current older car, I realized that I’m really no more or less happy with the change. I’m not a worse or more unhappy person because I drive a cheaper car, and I wasn’t a better or happier person before because I drove a fancy car. So I suppose my point is that the happiness comes from the fact that I have a car to drive, rather than the type of car that I have.

I think this idea applies to more than just possessions; I think it can have a very distinct effect on our personal lives and relationships as well. Its safe to say that everyone has felt jealously or insecure at some point in our personal lives, relationships, or friendships. I think this is oftentimes rooted in how we have perceived someone else’s worth, wealth, or happiness in comparison to our own actual worth, wealth, or happiness. Given this perception, I think what we end up doing is in a way, we try to indirectly emulate that perceived image that we have because they seemed more happy, wealthy, or whatever, than us. I think this translates into us, consciously or subconsciously, trying to attain this fabricated image that we made based on the perceived whatever of someone or something else, rather than being totally aware, content, and happy with who we are,where we are, and the things that we have. It goes hand in hand with the saying ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’. I think this concept is what drives people into that cycle because they never really feel, no matter what they buy or do, that they are quite there in that fabricated idea of what happiness really is.

As a result of all of this, personally, I feel that if I have a clear and realistic knowledge of who I am, and what makes me happy, rather than looking for the next thing to try and define me, or make me ‘happy’, I’ll be much more happy and satisfied than I would have been had I used all of my available funds to try and attain that fabricated idea – that is impossible to ever attain –to reach true ‘happiness’.

Be true to yourself, and happy with the people you’ve been blessed to have in your life.

Happiness is free.

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